Okay, I know this is really random but I've got nothing much to post about today.
Except for the fact that I've degraded my didi to an angel from hell and Keith to a heavenly figure.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + Smart woman= Romance
Smart man + Dumb woman= Affair
Dumb man + Smart woman= Marriage
Dumb man + Dumb woman= Pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + Smart employee= Profit
Smart boss + Dumb employee= Production
Dumb boss + Smart employee= Promotion
Dumb boss + Dumb employee= Overtime

"A man will pay $2 for a $1 thing he needs and a woman would pay $1 for a $2 thing she doesn't need."

"A woman worries about her future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife."

(I say Brrr, it's cold in here!)

Once upon a time there was this great french general by the name of Napoleon.
He had many armies around Europe and he always liked visiting them and talking to the top generals of the army. One day, he decided to pay a visit to an English army of his. As the general was an Englishman who could only understand English and Napoleon could only understand French, the advisors came up with a plan to teach the general how to answer Napoleon's questions.

Napoleon was famous for asking the following 3 questions: 1) How old are you? 2) How long have you been in this army? and 3) Which army do you like?. Thus the advisors taught the general how to respond in French to Napoleon, in the questions' sequence. The general was 28 years old, served in the army for 10 months and liked both armies (preferably to get on Napoleon's side).

The very day came when Napoleon reached England. Parades were held and lavish decorations filled the passageways of the ceremonial ground. The much anticipated Napoleon had finally arrived and he went up to the general. Smiling slightly, he asked:

"How long have you been in this army?"
"28 years."

Napoleon raised his eyebrow but did not further comment.

"How old are you?"
"10 months."

Napoleon thought this general was trying to be funny. He shouted, "What! How can you be 10 months old?! Are you crazy or am I crazy?!"

"Both."

Moral of the story: Do not assume :D

Another one!

Xiao Ming is a little boy in kindergarten. One day his teacher asked him, "Xiao Ming, what is ABC!"

Stumped, Xiao Ming shrugged. Though displeased, his teacher gave him a day to ask anyone he knew and he was to return with the answer tomorrow.

Upon reaching home, Xiao Ming slammed open the door and shouted at the first person he saw- his mother. "Mummy, what is ABC?!"

His mother was busily SMSing someone with her new phone and waved her hand impatiently. "SMS, SMS!" she shooed him away thereafter.

His elder brother was playing computer games. "Korkor, what's ABC?" asked Xiao Ming. His brother, apparently too engrossed in his game, exclaimed, "Come on! Come on!"

Xiao Ming then decided to ask his grandmother. He flung open her bedroom door without knocking and found her praying to Tua Pek Kong. "Ah-ma, what's ABC!" asked Xiao Ming for the last time.

Infatuated with her prayers, Ah-ma merely muttered, "Tua Pek Kong... Tua Pek Kong..."

The teacher qeustioned Xiao Ming again the next day. "Xiao Ming, what is ABC?"

"SMS! SMS!"

Angered, the teacher exclaimed, "What's this? You want me to punish you?"

Xiao Ming hollered, "Come on! Come on!"

The teacher snapped and asked Xiao Ming, "Who taught you these things!"

"Tua Pek Kong! Tua Pek Kong!"

Heh, moral of the story: Do not listen to adults. HAHAHA

I really want to sleep. Zzzzz. If only.